Should I postpone my wedding because of the coronavirus?

By now the thought has crossed your mind — my wedding, the day I’ve dreamed of and spent months (maybe more!) planning for, is scheduled for this spring/summer, but with the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, should I postpone?

Across the country, stories like this one and this one are popping up as couples change their wedding plans due to COVID-19. It’s not a decision brides- and grooms-to-be make lightly, after meticulously planning every detail from the venue to the dessert, but it is a decision many have deemed necessary during these unusual times.

Still, many other couples have shared their vows, albeit not as planned, utilizing FaceTime, Skype and even Facebook Live to share their moment with family and friends across the globe. In these instances, many still plan to hold a reception, complete with toasts, cake and dancing, once coronavirus can be tamed.

So should you postpone your wedding? Honestly, there’s no easy answer to that question. Every wedding is a different scenario and could have multiple options, including:

• • Postponing to a later date.
    • • It’s not an easy task to re-schedule a venue, photographer, videographer, florist, baker, food vendor, DJ and all of your family and friends. Chances are slim every vendor will be able to make the change, but for many it’s the safest bet. There’s also no rule that says a wedding must be on a Friday or Saturday afternoon — check with the venue and vendors to see if they are available on the other days of the week. You may not have to postpone as long!

• • Securing a “backup” date.
    • • Similar to above, it won’t be an easy task, but for couples with mid-summer weddings, many are hopeful to go on as planned, but securing a backup date should they need it.

• • Continuing, but improvising.
    • • There have been the FaceTime, Skype, Facebook Live or even Zoom weddings as mentioned above, but even options like nuptials at a park or family farm, with only parents (socially distanced) in attendance while other friends and family watch a live stream set up by the videographer.

One important thing to keep in mind — you’re not alone. There are literally thousands of couples pondering the same thought, so many, in fact, that dozens of publications are penning articles much like this one.

The Knot published “How to adjust your wedding timeline due to COVID-19” and basically suggests whether you should postpone, monitor or proceed as planned based on the date of your wedding.

The decision is yours, but here are a few things to keep in mind.

• • Restrictions on social gatherings.
    • • Whether it’s 50 people, 20 people or even single digits, there are various restrictions prohibiting social gatherings. If these stay in place, a wedding won’t be an exception.

• • Shelter-in-place directives.
    • • At the time of this post, 45 states have some sort of shelter-in-place directive issued, with various “essential” exclusions available — grocery runs, medical visits and emergencies. Weddings don’t fall in that category.

• • Acquiring goods may be challenging (or expensive!)
    • • You’ve heard of the great toilet paper shortage, but Charmin isn’t the only thing in high demand. Items from food to flowers could be more challenging to obtain, or at least be more expensive than originally planned. Delivery dates have also changed on many items, with suppliers like Amazon attempting to focus on “high-priority items” first and foremost.

• • The guest list is almost guaranteed to change.
    • • If your date changes, it may create challenges for some guests. If your date remains the same, some guests may be uncomfortable or even unable to travel with the current restrictions. Lodging could also be affected. Live streaming the ceremony is an option if you want to be able to include those guests in some capacity.

• • You’re not alone.
    • • There are links above stating how other couples have been affected, and there are thousands more with their own stories. Feel free to chat with other couples to see how they came to their decision. Their scenario may be similar to yours, and they may give you a few pointers and ideas along the way.

• • Nobody knows when things will return to normal.
    • • This is the most important factor and the reason why there isn’t a “right answer” to any questions couples may have. The greatest experts can’t tell you a specific date that would guarantee your wedding falls in the safe period, so your vendors, planners and maid-of-honor can’t either. Pay attention to the updated CDC guidelines, directives from your state and then make the decision(s) that suit your situation best.